Budgeting

By now, everyone knows that weddings are expensive.  Like, really expensive.  The Knot claims that the average wedding costs almost $28K.  In Saint Louis specifically, average numbers are $12-21K.  As a result, there are entire blogs dedicated to weddings under $5K or $10K, and many more wedding websites featuring DIY ideas or recycling/reselling marketplaces.

Diamond engagement ring: expensive.

As for us, I read a piece of advice a while back on one of the wedding blogs (I think Offbeat Bride or A Practical Wedding) that suggested choosing your priorities as a couple before you ever spend a dime.  That way, you make sure that you don't have to compromise on the things that are most important to you, and it's easier to say no to unnecessary expenses or budget-tipping options elsewhere.  

Dripping imported orchids: really expensive.

This strategy has worked well for us so far.  We agreed from the start that the most important things to us were 1) having our ceremony at St. Francis Xavier, 2) killer photography, 3) good food, and 4) (to a lesser extent) a nice dress.  At this point, we already have all of these things bought or booked!  Sure, I'd like to fill out our wedding day with meaningful and pretty details, but even if we go basic with everything else, we will be happy.  If one of us doesn't think it's worth the money for the fancy invitations or the giant floral centerpieces, it doesn't cause any conflict, because we've already agreed on our priorities.  There is no limit to how much you can spend on wedding-related paraphernalia, so at some point you have to stop buying wedding stuff and start saving money for life-after-wedding!

Indoor blue snowy forest: stupid expensive.

One final thing about your wedding budget: occasionally, ballsy people will ask you how much you're spending.  It may seem obvious to you how rude this is, but it's so common that there are entire pages on the wedsites dedicated to dodging the question or politely telling the asker to bugger off.  I've gotten this question several times, and my go-to answer is simply, "We can afford it."  Unless the asker is pricing options for their own wedding, the only reason they are asking is to pass judgement (for being too cheap OR too expensive!).  If they're not helping you pay for it, then it's none of their business!