Some of these themes lend themselves to gorgeous pictures, but it important to note that these themes, while meant to be a celebration of the couple's individuality, can actually distract from the couple and the sanctity of the day. This became obvious to me when Lance and I went to a friend's wedding last year. My friend was a no-muss, no-fuss Chinese bride, and her wedding was a traditional Chinese feast (as in, they eat 10 courses over 5 hours) in a Chinese hotel in Flushing. She didn't choose centerpieces or decorations; the hotel provided different color balloons, traditional red linens, and a double happiness character backdrop. Despite the fact that the wedding looked exactly like the other 4 weddings happening in the hotel at the same time, the focus of the wedding was always on the couple, rather than judging how well the decorations fit the theme. Thus, I think it's important not to spend all of your energy cultivating your theme.
I am learning, though, that having a theme or a concept can help provided some direction in the endless sea of wedding choices. For instance, you wouldn't want a heavy dress with a cathedral train at a beach wedding, it would just look odd. It's nice to have things generally go together and produce a cohesive look.
Lance and I decided to try to describe our wedding style, and while we are on the same page, we found putting it into words incredibly difficult. We know who we are, as individuals and as a couple, but it is difficult to summarize. I think that's a symptom of our "living between worlds" (briefly, part city, part country, but it goes deeper than that). We tried once, when we first moved in together, to describe a joint home decorating style (one thing that magazines tell you to think about when deciding "your" wedding style). We decided that our couple decorating style was rustic-elegant-Shaker-Gothic-Western. Figure that out.
We had an equally rough time putting our wedding style into words. We like nature-inspired elegance (Pottery Barn calls it rustic-luxe) (think fur cover-ups and snow-like crystals on dresses rather than cowboy boots and burlap). We will have wintry touches, but don't want our wedding to look like a glorified Christmas party (think baby's breath, which is reminiscent of snow, rather than actual snowflake patterns). Lance calls the concept "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," after the Robert Frost poem. I think that's fair, but we are also going to let the architecture of our church inspire our colors and the formality of the event (while not rustic, I wouldn't call Gothic* cathedrals urban, either). Romantic, a little bit storybook, a reflection of nature, without edging over into princess. (I really don't want people to get "princess" from our wedding. I'm a little worried about that given the castle-like look of the church and a few other details. :/ ) So, cathedral winter woods?
So far I think the choices we've made have worked well within our concept. In the end, I'm hoping that if we just choose things we like, it will all come together. That said, David Tutera managed to base the entire second draft of his show on brides with completely disjunct and confusing themes. So, wish us luck!
*(Churches with spires, ribbed arches, quatrefoils, and stained glass, not angry teenagers in black eyeliner.)
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| Lights hung to resemble stars |
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| Ring pillow leaf charm |
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