Save the Date Update

**I ordered these today after changing a few things based on the feedback I got, so the "comment window" is officially closed.  :)  Original post below:

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I've been pretty busy with work, Christmas shopping, etc.  In any case, I just finished our save the date design, and I was wondering what you all think (the quality is shoddy here as a .jpg because I don't have the skills to upload as a .pdf).  Worthy of sending to everyone we know?  Need work?  Need scrapped?  Let me know.  :)  It's a postcard, and the other side will have a link to our wedding website.  Also, if anyone would like to volunteer to look over/edit our wedding website before it goes live, I'd appreciate it!

Save The Dates

Now that we have a bridal party, we can finish that page on our website... just in time to send out save the dates!  Normally I don't have much use for save the dates; there are very few people whose pictures I want magnetized to my fridge for months, and they are an added and usually unnecessary expense.  There are a few exceptions, one of which is weddings that fall close to holidays (that's us).  Guests need advanced warning to make holiday and travel plans, I get that.  I've seen a few cute save the dates online, but I'd rather make my own.  You can print custom postcards on Vistaprint for very reasonable prices, so we thought we could come up with our own design, have them printed, and send them in our Christmas cards this year (Postage is one of the hidden wedding costs; if we're using a stamp, we might as well make it pull double duty!).  As I mentioned in my very first post, we already have a save the date idea.  I saw a wedding website a long time ago that has this very modern, simple, but funny and cute text format:

Lance wanted to edit out the "effing," but other than that we really liked this (and have plenty of history to fill it with!).  Plus, it shouldn't be that hard to make; it's just text, right?  WRONG.  I've been messing with it for days, and it's sneaky hard to choose workable fonts, double justify the text, and make it attractive.  So if you have any basic graphics design skills, please help!!

Table Numbers

We ordered our centerpiece candles this weekend!  It's really early, I know, but I found a sale at a candle wholesaler online, AND Lance found a coupon for them, so we jumped on it!  Which brings us to the next question... what to do for table numbers?

After my centerpieces post, both my dad and Lance's mom enthusiastically joined Team Silver Trays, so we're going to see if we can make that work.  That plan does have the advantage of keeping the setup easy, since we might have to have people set up the reception without us the morning of the wedding if the venue books a Christmas party the night before (reeeeally hoping that doesn't happen).  Going with the trays changes two things, though.  First, I think that the glass vases on silver trays might look too busy, so we held off buying candle vases until we decide what we're doing for sure.  (I also have to check with the venue to make sure that the trays qualify as "holders" for fire regulations.)

Second, it changes our thoughts about table numbers.  Part of the reason the candles on trays look so pretty is that that it's very clean looking.  Our original thought for table numbers was to use small silver photo frames with pictures of us either around the city or at other places we've traveled.  (We also entertained the idea of naming the tables after said places, but ultimately thought the numbers made more sense.)

With trays, however, picture frames are too busy, too much silver, and possibly tall enough to block the candlelight, which defeats the purpose.

So what are our other options?  Without vases, etching numbers into the vases isn't a possibility.  I've seen some lucite table numbers online, which I thought were cool:

I could always make table numbers using my die cut machine.  I just got a Sizzix Big Kick, and it can cut paper, fabric, cork, sheet plastic, and even metal.  I've seen a few nice number dies:

I could press out numbers and make little number cards, or pin them directly on a candle, or even glue them to stands and make them 3D:

Decisions, decisions... it's all in the details, right?  ;)

The Other Parties

 
These days, the Wedding Industrial Complex (WIC) tells us that a wedding can't just be a wedding.  You need an engagement party, a themed bridal shower, a bachelorette party that involves plane tickets, and a rehearsal dinner on a yacht.  The wedding itself can't last just one night; you need a plan a whole wedding weekend, complete with welcome dinners and farewell brunches.  I'm not totally immune to the pressures of the WIC.  I like the idea of spending the whole weekend with friends and family (albeit with less fuss).  I figure if people are taking the time to travel to my wedding, I'm going to try to see them for more than a few busy hours!

That said, I see no real need for a shower or bachelorette party.  It's not that there aren't things that we would like to have.  Even though we live together, I'm still a student, we are saving money for the wedding, and we try not to bring too much extra stuff into our tiny apartment, so we haven't invested in many nice home things yet.  However, I don't think that putting together our home is anyone else's responsibility.  I also don't care for shower games (most. boring. thing. ever.) or the photos of "toilet paper bride" that end up on Facebook.  As far as the bachelorette, I'm not the wild and crazy type, and the whole "last night of freedom" concept implies that marriage is confining or limiting in some fundamental way, which I disagree with.  And, as my friend told our landlord senior year of college, my circle is more likely to throw a tea party than a house party.  A bachelorette brunch would be more my speed.

Ultimately, though, the biggest reason that I'd rather not mess with the other parties is that I don't expect our friends and family to spend their life savings on our wedding.  I know that our families will be there for us and contribute to putting everything together if need be, and that is enough.  As far as friends, I can't imagine asking anyone to fly in more than once.  Weddings are expensive enough as it is!  Trust me, we know.  Lance and I have been to upwards of 30 weddings in the past 5 years.  Honestly, we're not extravagant gift givers.  Instead, we do everything we can to give people what we ourselves would want: the presence of friends and family.  According to one recent study, the average guest spends upwards of $500 to attend a wedding.  Factoring in flights, gas, food, hotels, and gifts, I can tell you that we've crossed that line more than once (and we will do it again, because we love our friends and weddings give us an excuse to travel).  But when it comes to our own wedding, I don't want such a joyful event to become a financial burden for anyone.  What we really want is to be surrounded by our family and friends.  The rest is just icing on the (wedding) cake.

We have a bridal party!

I've been dying to tell you how we invited our bridal party, and now that we've heard from everyone, I can!  I thought it would be fun to do something special for our bridal party, since they are so important to us.  Because everyone will be traveling to the wedding to some extent (and we wanted to give them something useful), we decided to use luggage tags to ask people to be in our wedding.  We found some great ones at Leatherology, and I was so pleased that they came in a little gift box with a pretty soft leather sheet around them!  We used a bowtie image from Wedding Chicks and a bridesmaid silhouette from Weddingbee, added our own wording, and bam! fun little invites!  Here's how they turned out:

Everyone said yes, too!

Shoes

I have a confession.  I love shoes.  I mean, I really love shoes.  I live my life in tennis shoes because my arches fall if I wear anything else, but I think a nice pair of heels (feminist concerns aside) are a work of art.  There are a ton of great options that work with a wedding dress, too.

The standard embellished white shoe (admittedly for one-time use):

Bow shoe clips (in Prussian blue?!):

 Shiny shoes:

 Lace shoes:

Oxford or Victorian booties: 

Hand painted shoes:

Mink and bow trimmed (I love these!):

And, the now-standard blue (or red) shoes, which add a little color and photograph well:

Notice that every one of those were heels.  All the wedding websites (wedsites?) recommend three pairs of shoes for your wedding day: heels for your ceremony, boots in case it rains or snows in transit, and flats for when your feet are tired but you want to dance.  I have found boots that I like, but attractive flats are few and far between.  I gave up on wearing heels a while back, and I would prefer to be (appropriately) the same height as Lance on our wedding day, so I'd really like to find some attractive flats.  Most flats are uninspiring, though.  These are the best I've found:

They're cute because they look like they're wearing little tiaras, but they don't appear to be well-constructed and they are pricey.  They're also dyable, but I don't trust that process.  At this rate, I'm thinking of buying a fur (or paint, or rhinestones) and some comfortable flats and making my own!

Bridesmaids Dresses

I've mentioned before that Lance and I want gray, blue, or black bridesmaid dresses.  We don't have a bridal party yet, but already two maybe-bridesmaids have mentioned that they don't care for black dresses.  Personally, I like black because it's the most formal color, flattering on all skin tones, and increases the odds that the dress will be worn again, but I don't have my heart set on it.  I know not everyone has looked at as much wedding inspiration as I have, so I'll post some photos here to give people an idea of what I'm thinking.

Black:

[I love the lace trend the past few years!:]

Gray:

[This is one of my all-time favorites, so of course it's twice 

as much as I would ever dream of asking anyone to pay:]

Blue:

Two of the maybe-bridesmaids have also asked about choosing their own dress.  I know the trend right now is different cuts of dresses,

because everyone gets to choose a cut that is flattering to their body type, but I am leaning toward having them all match.  First of all, I think the mismatched dresses work better for more informal weddings.  Second, typically brides will set guidelines (designer and color / color, length, fabric) so that they all more or less go together.  Third, if they are going to be different, I would want them to each be distinct from the others, and fourth, you have to pray that people don't choose a dress that is completely other from what you have in mind.  I figure if you're going to go to that much trouble, you might as well just pick one dress!

Finally, the wicked problem of bridesmaids dresses is that 1) no one wants to spend too much money on something that will most likely be worn once but 2) no one wants the dress to look cheap.  Unfortunately, bridesmaids dresses are expensive, so I anticipate this will take a bit of work.  I'm not opposed to finding a "non-bridesmaid" dress somewhere and having everyone order one (I actually love patterned bm dresses, but again, those are more appropriate at a less formal event).  I would love to find one with lace, but we'll have to wait to see what will go with my dress, and I don't plan on shopping for that for a few more months.  :)

Picture Perfect

We booked our wedding photographer last weekend! 

There are essentially two main styles of wedding photography: traditional (mostly posed shots) and photojournalism (storytelling or documentary styles).  Some photographers can blend styles, and some are more artsy than others, but usually they boil down to one or the other category.  I knew that we needed a photojournalistic approach, because Lance is notoriously bad at taking pictures.  We usually get one good one out of every four we take because of his knack for blinking at the wrong time.  I wanted to find someone who could catch him genuinely smiling (which is beautiful) and goofing around (which is often), rather than ending up with a bunch of forced-looking posed shots.  The problem is that there are very few good wedding photojournalists in Missouri and downstate Illinois.

To find a photographer, we checked out studios that people we know have used, looked at our recently married local friends' albums, and scoured wedding websites.  I followed their pages on Facebook for a while to see what kind of work they do.  Ultimately, one emerged as a clear front-runner: a husband-wife team that, by some weird coincidence, grew up with one of my college friends in Virginia.  We met with them to make sure that we all clicked, since we will be spending 10+ hours with them on our wedding day, and we were very happy with their professionalism and laid-back vibe.  If you want to check them out, visit the Carretto Studio Photography blog here.  :)

Tossing Tradition

Lance and I will be skipping a few of the reception traditions.  Namely, we will not be tossing the bouquet or the garter.  The bouquet toss tradition has never resonated with me.  I understand that if all your friends are from the same area, it could be a fun way to meet other singles.  However, the superstition that you will "be next to get married" falls flat, because it insinuates that this is the ultimate goal in a woman's life, which is just stupid and offensive.  Additionally, I hardly believe that everyone who is unmarried is truly "single."  For instance, Lance and I are not yet married, but I haven't considered myself single since I was 15!

Because we are a fairly traditional couple, I expected Lance to throw a fit when I told him that I wouldn't be throwing any bouquets.  On the contrary, he was relieved not to have to listen to another rendition of "All the Single Ladies!"  He also finds the whole garter removal bit to be completely awkward--most grooms in Illinois remove them with their teeth, and he was not excited about that--so we will be skipping the garter toss as well.

In the interest of tossing something, we've thought about doing a bridal party teddy bear toss for the kids.  This is appealing, also, because it just makes sense to give kids toys around Christmas.  However, we all know that small children will cry over just about anything.  I myself was so devastated after not catching a wedding bouquet as a little girl that I sobbed until my Aunt Robin offered to get me another one (which I still have in one of my childhood memory boxes).  Given all the ways that this could go sideways, we're undecided.  What are your thoughts?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

One of the reactions that you get when you tell people that you're having a winter wedding is, "Aren't you afraid that it's going to snow?"

Actually, no.  In fact, I hope it does!  As long as we don't get enough to cause a problem for people who are traveling, I would love for it to snow on our wedding day.  First off, I associate winter weather with Christmas, joyful family celebrations, cozy nights reading by the fire, watching wildlife on bundled up walks, and so many other wonderful things.  Second, there is something intimate and romantic about watching snow fall.  For that reason, snow makes for some beautiful photos!

Finally, there are a number of fun winter accessories I would love to bring in, if the weather cooperates:

Boots:

(I'm obsessed with these Helly Hansen ones, with their subtle floral pattern and fur trim:)

Fur wraps:

Umbrellas:

 (I love that this one has a cathedral scene underneath!)

So, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!