Crazy for Quatrefoil

I am obsessed with this shape I discovered when visiting different Catholic churches while traveling.  I noticed it once because it was a repeated element in some stained glass windows, and I set out to figure out what it was called.  After searching Google for a million variants on "clover," I eventually learned that it was called quatrefoil (literally translated, four-leafed), and it is intended in church architecture to be reminiscent of the cross.  The shape can be deeply or more subtly lobed, and is sometimes barbed.

You sometimes see it repeated to form a cool pattern (which should not be confused with arabesque, an Islamic or Moroccan symbol/pattern).

I'm not the only one obsessed with it, either.  People use it in papercrafts, home design, and jewelry.  It's simple, beautiful, and works as alone or as a pattern. 

Given that I want to put it EVERYTHING EVER, it's clearly associated with Christianity (but not in an in-your-face sort of way), and it's a Celtic symbol of good luck, I think it would be perfect for a wedding motif!  I think a single one inlaid with "A + L", like the example below, would work well for a lot of things. 

The most obvious place to use a motif is on your paper goods.  We could use the shape for die-cut labels or tags (the top one is a circle, but you get the idea):

On invitations:

On door hangers for guests' hotel rooms (Ok, so the patterned one is arabesque, but quatrefoil would work too):

On signage:

On thank-you cards:

And on favor bags:

Obviously, quatrefoil-ing every single thing in the wedding would be overkill, but I would like to incorporate it here and there.  Repeating elements is a pretty way of tying everything together neatly.

If nothing else, I think a hand-made stamp and a quatrefoil die (to go in a scrapbook die-cutting machine) would go a long way (think favor bag stamps, invitation seals, candy bar signs).  I have also been thinking of using a die to make a stencil to etch some of the glass candle vases, which would be a bit more subtle.  We are a long way off from designing any paper suites, so for now, I am using it as the background on our wedding website!

I Want Candy!

Candy bars have been popular for a few years now on the wedding blogs, and I love them!  I also love that I've only been to one wedding with one, so it's a relatively fresh idea in our circle.  In general, I am not a big fan of favors, because they tend to be cheaply made and they often get left behind.  Let's be honest, no one wants a screen printed cup/raffia fan/handsewn handkerchief with someone else's names and wedding date on it.  We briefly considered small silver bells, which are not only symbolic of both wedding bells and the Christmas season, but a nod to Lance's late Grandma Lou, who collected bells.  Then we went to a wedding where bells were the favor, complete with cute poem about ringing them to make the bride and groom kiss.  I don't remember anyone ringing them, and I know most guests forgot theirs at the table at the end of the night.  I still have those bells.  No idea what to do with them, but it feels wrong to throw them out.  We also considered sleigh bell ornaments, which are reminiscent of the Polar Express and make beautiful tablescapes.  The problem with this is that we are having a buffet, so there will be no need for a decorated plate at each setting (though they still might make an appearance in kids' or out-of-towners' bags).

The great thing about candy bars is that they are edible (which I think is the key to winning the favors game) and they make fantastic displays!

They are also easy to DIY.  All you need are containers, scoops, bags, and signs.  Add candy, and boom!  You're done!  Personally, I like the apothecary jars, which can be used outside of the wedding to make seasonal displays or even terrariums.  I think a few other round containers coordinate nicely--I happen to have one that was a centerpiece in a friend's wedding that I plan on using.

You can make them colorful for fun:

Or monochromatic for a striking display:

 You can also change the overall look with your signage.

I'm not sure if ours will be all blue, all white, or a mix (maybe ombre?).  It depends partly on what candy is available in each color.  It's important to pick candy that both you and your family will eat, in case you have a ton left over.*  Lance's mom said she would help make white chocolate pretzels for us, which we love.  We also are considering rock candy (one of my favorites, and beautiful, but pricey per unit), pillow mints, raspberry frooties, gum balls, and M&M's.  My cousin suggested snowcaps.  If there is anything you're hoping to see there, please let one of us know!

I found some online candy stores, and they are fun to poke around:

http://www.candywarehouse.com/

http://www.candyfavorites.com/
http://www.bulkcandystore.com/
http://www.metrocandy.com/home.asp
http://www.candydirect.com/
http://www.blaircandy.com/
http://www.hometownfavorites.com/shop/candy_store.asp
http://www.oldtimecandy.com/
http://www.groovycandies.com/
http://www.nutsonline.com/gifts/weddingfavors/

*Our venue does not allow candy in the main hall, so our candy bar will not open until one hour before the end of the reception.  I hope that gives people an incentive to stay and celebrate with us longer!

Head Tables

One of the advantages having attended so many weddings (so. many. weddings.) in the past is that we get to learn from other people's successes and mistakes.  One of my least favorite parts of other people's weddings is that Lance is usually in them.  More specifically, when Lance is in a wedding, I am alone, or with his friends and acquaintances, for hours while he does his groomsman thing (photos, toasts, helping with the dollar dance, etc.), and I eventually get very bored.  And I do not want guests at our wedding to be bored.  I want them to be with the ones they love, so they can relax and have fun.

As a result, I am going to do whatever I can to keep the bridal party's significant others close.  This means we have to find a way to allow the bridal party to eat with their significant others, and that means that we are scrapping the traditional head table.  I think that will work out better anyway, since we will probably have a large bridal party, and that many people looks ridiculous on display:

So what are our alternatives?  I found this option online:

I like it, but I still want us to stand out a little, so I think Lance and I will probably have a sweetheart table (at first I thought that would be lonely, but everyone says that you will be grateful for any alone-together time you get on your wedding day).  Another option is seating the bridal party at guest round tables, but Lance didn't feel like that was special enough:

Thus, the current plan is "sweetheart table with wings," or long tables on either side of the sweetheart table for the bridal party and their significant others or families.  This arrangement has the added perk of keeping our closest friends nearby and hopefully making toasts run more smoothly.

Relationship Timeline

Lance and I just finished the relationship timeline for our website.  I was inspired by some wedding porn pictures I'd seen online:

I thought this was adorable, and I was pretty sure I could do it myself.  Lo and behold, there was a tutorial online!  This is what we came up with:

 

Originally, we were going to print them and send them in Christmas cards this year as a save-the date (which I think are dumb, but we want people to know the date since the wedding is so close to Christmas), but the sizing got all weird and it got really long, because, well, we've been together ten years!  In the end, we decided to just stick it on our wedding website.  Hopefully it helps people get to know us a little better.  :)

Centerpieces

Lance and I decided a long time ago that we want candles upon candles for centerpieces.  I love the huge towering floral centerpieces, but after I told Lance what they cost, he made it clear that he was not on board, and I couldn't much argue.  Wedding flowers are expensive, usually not environmentally friendly, and they die.  I have a personal vendetta against fake flowers, so floral centerpieces were out.  Luckily, no one expects a lot of flowers at a winter wedding anyway!

Cue the candles.  I love candles.  I have always been a bit of a pyro, and nothing is more romantic than a room full of candles, especially in winter. We want the room to look like the scene in Friends where Chandler and Monica get engaged:

 

Our venue requires that candles are in some kind of holder to reduce the chance of fire.  We like glass vases, because they are reflective (read: ooh, shiny!) and low, which means the ceilings look higher and people can talk over them.  

I'm not sure what else to do with them to make them stand out, though.  I don't like mirrors (they are way overdone), but maybe silver trays would work?  They are reflective and appropriately formal:

They would probably be prohibitively expensive, though, considering we will have 25-30 tables.  I also like the idea of baby's breath wreaths.  Baby's breath is soft, inexpensive, and sort of looks like snow:

Pine greenery is another option:

Maybe some "snowball" flower pomanders on each table (without ribbons or pedestals):

Or maybe rose petals:

Finally, there is always the cotton "snow" or fabric runner options.  I found a cool sparkly gray fabric at Joann's that might look good as a small square runner.  If anybody else comes up with ideas, let me know!

Color, or Lack Thereof

I don't think that we will end up being too finicky about "our colors."

When we first discussed a winter wedding years ago, we thought our colors would be a deep red and silver.  Red is such a vibrant, passionate color... the color of the Saint Louis Cardinals, Cornell, and berries and birds in winter.  Then we went to two other winter weddings with those same colors... ugh.

After we found our church, we moved on to cobalt blue, gunmetal gray, and small pops of ice blue and red to go with the stained glass and altar in the church.  Over the years, my favorite color transitioned from green to blue and Lance's transitioned from orange to navy, which in some ways is indicative of how much we've changed and grown together, so it seemed like a natural fit.  The reception venue has dark red ceilings, red-rimmed plates, and navy, red, and gold carpets, so the transition from one space to another with these colors would work.

Then I started thinking about how much we would be able to incorporate any color choices we make.  We've decided that bridesmaids' dresses will be black, blue, or gray.  If the dresses are blue, the flowers will probably be blue (saturated dress + less saturated same color flowers = awesome).  If the dresses are black or gray, the flowers will probably be white.  We like classic, black and white, "James Bond" style tuxes, and we are planning on cummerbunds instead of vests to get away from that matchy-matchy prom look.  We hate chair covers, and the chairs in the venue are black and dark gray, so we are planning on black table linens to match.  We will be using white candles as centerpieces.  I haven't been able to find any colorful invitations that I like, so we may well go with classic black calligraphy on white paper.  Thus, most of our decisions are leading toward a black and white palette, and I think we will be desperate to inject color anywhere we can!

Our candy bar will probably be blue, white, and silver, and I've seen cool drink stirrers in jewel tones (deep blue, red, green, and purple), so that's a start.  We also will have our choice of colored napkins and uplighting... hopefully that will help!

St. Francis Xavier

You may be wondering how Lance and I chose our church.

We found St. Francis Xavier (aka Saint Louis University College Church) several years ago.  We had started thinking about what we wanted for our wedding, and we realized that we had no place that worked for both of us.  I was not one of those girls who grows up fantasizing about her wedding, but that said, I never had any intention of getting married in the small Illinois church I grew up in, for several reasons. First, my family is huge, so we never had any hope of a small wedding.  We could not have fit half of half of our guest list in that church.  Second, if I had developed any preference for a wedding site, I would get married either outside (preferably in the mountains) or in a huge cathedral (because of the rich culture conveyed in the architecture).  Catholics must be married in a Catholic church to have a valid sacramental marriage.  Getting married Catholic was important to me, so the outdoor plan was out.  I would have considered getting married at the church I attended in college, but Lance didn't want to ask friends and family to travel that far.

As a compromise, we began looking at churches in Saint Louis.  We figured that would be more considerate to our friends who will be flying in for the wedding, and it's also not too far away from our family and friends across the river.

When we first started looking at churches in the Saint Louis area, we quickly became concerned that we would not be able to make this compromise work.  The first church we visited was monstrous.  It sat 2,000 people (that's a BIG church!) and the walls were covered in Byzantine-style gold paint and giant mosaics.  Lance is not a big fan of gold, and the size of the church was just overwhelming.  We moved on.  The next church we looked at was on the murder side of Cole Street.  The walls of that church were covered in naked angel butts and skulls with butterflies on their heads, an archaic Catholic symbol for resurrection.  After mass, someone invited everyone to come up and touch a sacred chalice that was part of a miracle (that is not normal goings-on in any other church we've ever been to!).  We booked it out of there and back to the other side of stabbey road.  Finally, we went to mass at St. Francis Xavier.  The stained glass in the church was (and is!) the most beautiful I've ever seen, and we both loved the stunning high altar in a much more understated concrete gray palette.  The Gothic architecture is reminiscent of castles and buildings at Cornell (my other true love).  After mass that day, we walked across the street to look at the fountain (where Lance later proposed :D ), and we both knew that this was our church!